Colton Underwood is a virgin. Did you know that?
ABC continued to hype this fact about its Season 23 star on the three-hour premiere episode Monday night, which featured Colton kissing two women and sending home seven more.
“I’m the first virgin Bachelor and it’s crazy to even think about that,” Underwood said early on. “I couldn’t be more hopeful and excited.”
Did his 30 suitors feel the same way, however?
How did they approach the fact that he’s never slid his throbbing unit inside of any private parts?
Scroll down for everything you ever wanted to know about this lengthy season premiere — and visit our section of The Bachelor spoilers to see who actually wins…
Ready to Meet the Ladies
After the usual kind of introduction — which, yes, focused heavily on both Colton’s former football career and his virginity – Chris met up with Colton outside of the mansion to meet his many suitors.
They Were Ready to Swipe That V Card
“If I was the person that Colton gave his virginity to, I would definitely bring out all the tricks,” said Onyeka, an IT risk consultant from Dallas, Texas, at one point.
Et Tu, Demi?
Added this suitor: “I know that he’s a virgin, which is kind of concerning. If you only ever have a vanilla cupcake, well how do you know you don’t like chocolate? How do you know you don’t like strawberry? I feel like you have to try out all the cupcakes first to know what you really want. I’m the damn confetti cake.”
Okay. On to the Arrivals!
There was Caelynn — who currently holds the title of Miss North Carolina 2018 – wore her sash and everything!
Yup, She’s a Sloth
There was Alex D., who dressed in a head-to-toe sloth costume (because Colton likes to take things “slowly.” Really. This was her reasoning.) and was so very into it that her arrival took up about half the premiere.
Pulled Over for Lameness
There was Tracy, who showed up in a cop cruise because she was the self-proclaimed fashion police. Wow, huh? The sloth costume may have made more sense.