Kris Jenner is in love.
With her latest grandhchild?
Sure, we assume so. We can’t imagine why she wouldn’t be.
But even more so with the marketing opportunity afforded to Jenner and her family as a result daughter Kylie naming her child… Stormi.
Yes, Stormi. Stormi Webster, to be exact.
We’re still not over that.
But while most of the free world wonders why Kylie and baby daddy Travis Scott would hand down such a moniker to their newborn, Kris Jenner sees something other than controversy affixed to this name:
She sees dollar signs.
According to a Hollywood Life insider, the family matriarch has already taken the necessary steps to profit off her granddaughter’s name.
“Kris is busy at work on the new name,” this source explains, adding:
“She has her legal team already trademarking the name and locking up all the social media accounts for Stormi.
“The grandma and super-momager is happy with the pick because, despite not being a K name, she still thinks it’s great for marketing.”
You can tell this quote comes from a real person because no made-up source would use the term “super-momager.”
Only real people talk that way, of course.
This same report alleges that all of Kylie’s loved ones “love” the name Stormi, which is the complete opposite of what we had heard previously.
Just last week, Radar Online wrote that family members find the name to be “ridiculous” and:
“They just think that it sounds too depressing and it isn’t fit for a little girl.”
This may be the case, but no one can deny that Stormi is unique.
And when you’re looking to capitalize off a name, originality is nearly everything.
Why else do you think Kim Kardashian named her kids North, Saint and Chicago?
It certainly isn’t because those are quality names, right?
It should therefore come as no surprise that Hollywood Life claims both Kim and Kanye are huge fans of Stormi.
“Kim thinks it is cute, unique, and fitting for a woman who will certainly take the world by storm,” alleges another totally real insider, who continues:
“Kanye loves the name too… He is already writing rhymes about Stormi Chicago nights.”
There’s absolutely no way this is true.
But we’ve never wanted to be wrong more in our entire lives.
Kanye, please tell us your next single will be all about Stormi Chicago nights. Please, man.