The award for Laziest Award Show of The Year will undoubtedly go to Love Island: the Reunion.
After all the scandalous, hilarious, incidents this summer it only came up with five awards, with Georgia Steel winning two of them and another at her expense.
She scooped supposedly the most ‘prestigious’ prize of the night – Muggiest Moment of the Series, for the notorious kiss she gave Jack (or didn’t as it transpired). This hardly seemed fair given that ITV2 had made her film a re-take – so were basically more responsible for it than she was.
Love Island: The Reunion: Georgia Steel should have won Unluckiest Hate Figure and Curliest Ringlets of the Series to add to her other titles – 60 awards they SHOULD have had
Georgia then received a special honour recognising (or mocking) the premium she had placed on being ‘Loyal.’
This had turned Georgia into the series’ official hate figure, having somehow become seen as worse than Josh cheating on her when she actually was loyal to him, Megan’s myriad betrayals (of various men and women), and even the passive aggressive way Adam (a serial misogynist) had threatened Rosie for a single gesture. (‘Don’t you f**king nod at me!’)
Was being ‘loyal’ – or even claiming to be when you weren’t – that bad?
Winner: Georgia then received a special honour recognising (or mocking) the premium she had placed on being ‘Loyal’
When the ‘Most Memorable Performance’ was awarded to Ellie it felt more like a reward than a humiliation because the person she had laid into when she had kicked off so dramatically was Georgia.
Georgia’s brilliantly defiant, damning, speech lacerating Josh when he tried to defend coupling up with Kaz in Casa Amor appeared to count for nothing.
Or perhaps that explained why Georgia at least didn’t receive the award for Worst Pie-ing Off too. The way Josh had dumped her meant she could have of course but luckily Laura had been binned by Wes as well. And probably Paul too ultimately, judging by his reaction when Caroline Flack asked if he and Laura were officially a couple yet.
Awkward: Georgia wasn’t a contender for the LOLZ Moment of the Series, which went to Jack’s reaction when he walked in on Megan and Wes (pictured) in bed
‘Er……..’ Paul said (or didn’t).
Predictably, Georgia wasn’t a contender for the LOLZ Moment of the Series, which went to Jack’s reaction when he walked in on Megan and Wes in bed.
Wes’ laugh showed even he thought Josh pulling his baby’s arm off was funnier.
Jack would have had the awards for Best Teeth, Bluest Eyes, and Best Ricky Gervais Impersonation.
Unfortunate: Most Irritating Islander (female) – Old Laura
An award for Best Curly Ringlets wouldn’t have killed them either.
It was the least Georgia deserved.
These are some of the other awards Love Island: the Reunion should have presented.
Best Couple – Jack Fincham & Dani Dyer
2nd Best Couple – Jack Fincham & Danny Dyer
Worst Couple – Dr. Alex & whoever he was coupled with (except a Ferrari)
And the award goes to: Best Couple – Jack Fincham & Dani Dyer
2nd Worst Couple – Adam & whoever he was coupled with (because he would dump them any second)
Sexiest Couple – Josh & Kaz
Most Off-Putting Couple – Eyal slobbering over Megan
Most Irritating Islander (male) – Eyal
That voice, his hair, his appalling humiliation of Alex kissing Megan etc
Most Irritating Islander (female) – Old Laura
Wailing about every man that had dumped her and then moving on to another one the next day as if it never happened
Votes are in: Sexiest Couple – Josh & Kaz
Weirdest Woman – Old Laura
‘Paul’s kissed Britney Spears in a video so I was like ‘competition !’ I was kind of like I better be a better snogger than Britney Spears…My God I stole Britney’s man. Winning! winning!’
Weirdest Male – Dr Alex
‘I charge quite a lot of money for proper role-play’
Most Disturbing Summary – Jack
‘Alex has had his hands in people’
Weirdest Male – Dr Alex: ‘I charge quite a lot of money for proper role-play’
Worst Passive-Aggressive Alpha Male: Adam (L) ‘Rosie (R) is that my hat? Do you want to swap it for this one because this is not my hat. You’ll like this one better anyway…You’ve just nodded at me! Don’t f**king nod at me!’
Worst Passive-Aggressive Alpha Male – Adam
‘Rosie is that my hat? Do you want to swap it for this one because this is not my hat. That would be fantastic. You’ll like this one better anyway…You’ve just nodded at me! Don’t f**king nod at me!’
Least Aggressive Male – Alex
For ironing Eyal’s shirt after he had humiliated him by kissing/coupling up with Megan
Funniest Nickname – ‘Old Laura’
Worst Names – the second batch of people called Jack, Laura, Ellie, Alex etc
Worst Baby Name: Bret and Chad
The surfer names Young Laura was forbidden
Unfair: Muggiest Moment of the Series, for the notorious kiss she gave Jack (or didn’t as it transpired). This hardly seemed fair given that ITV2 had made her film a re-take
Best Baby Name: Reef
The surfer names Young Laura came up with instead
Best Imaginary Character Name – ‘Sensible Sally that works in an office’
Megan’s example of the type of person she could never be
Best Romantic Revelation – Jack
‘I’m in love with Dani Dyer!’
Scariest Revelation – Dani
‘Usually a boy is scared to meet my dad. I’d be scared to meet my mum’
Kinkiest Revelation – Niall
Admitting he’d used a musical instrument as a sex toy – ‘a recorder !’
Worst Opinion of A&E Doctors : Ellie ‘You’re worse than vets putting down pets. You put down humans!’
Worst Opinion of A&E Doctors: Ellie
‘You’re worse than vets putting down pets. You put down humans!’
Worst Doctor – Alex
Unable to apply suncream during a heatwave
Worst New Age Guru – Eyal
‘Megan is definitely a woman. And I love a woman. I am all about women’
Worst Feminist – Megan
Stealing yet another girl’s partner and then complaining how hard it was for her choosing between the new man and her previous one
Worst Mother: Megan Unable to cope with her baby getting more attention
Worst Mother – Megan
Unable to cope with her baby getting more attention
Worst Father – Paul
Shrugging blankly whenever Laura gushed ‘if we had kids what would we call them?’
Most Transparent Bulls**tter – Eyal
‘I wanted to give you space for you to do you’ – his excuse for days of not paying Megan any attention
Most Sadistic Bulls**tter – Eyal
‘I just wanted you to be the best version of your self on your date that you could be’ – his excuse for telling Alex that he had just kissed Megan as Alex was going for his turn with her
A woman scorned: Georgia then received a special honour recognising (or mocking) the premium she had placed on being ‘Loyal’
Upset: This had turned Georgia into the series’ official hate figure, having somehow become seen as worse than Josh cheating on her with Kaz (pictured) when she actually was loyal to him
Most Dubious Claim (male) – Jack
Insisting that he didn’t know Dani Dyer was Danny Dyer’s daughter before the start of the series or before she told him
Most Dubious Claim (female) – Megan
‘The number of sexual partners I’ve had is only 20 actually !’
Most Ridiculous Claim (male) – Eyal
‘I think in my former life I was a monkey slash lion’
Least Sincere Apology – Megan
For saying sorry to her parents knowing they were watching when she had to reveal her favourite sexual position – enthusing ‘reverse cowgirl’ rather than lie and say ‘missionary’
Worst Guru: Eyal ‘Megan is definitely a woman. And I love a woman. I am all about women’
Least Sincere Argument – Alex
For laying into Ellie and saying he couldn’t be with her – even though they had never been a couple in the first place
Least Sincere Defence – Megan
‘When I was kissing Wes I was worried about Laura but I did it respectfully. I started thinking: I’m not going to step on anyone’s toes’… But I can also still appreciate someone else, so f**k it’
Least Convincing Boast – Eyal
‘I’ve worked hard to get the outcome with Megan that I’ve got’ – an idea of hard work only a model could come up with.
Least Convincing Complaint – Eyal
‘It’s a reminder that people snake you in here. All I’ve ever been is loyal to each one of you’ – after the boys distracted him so that Alex to have a conversation with Megan
Kinkiest Revelation: Niall Admitting he’d used a musical instrument as a sex toy – ‘a recorder !’
Best Chat-Up Line – Ellie B to Dr.Alex
‘Can I have a shot of penis-cilin?’
Worst Chat-up Line – Samira
‘What’s your favourite floor material?’
Worst ‘Chat’ – Alex
‘My team Swansea were relegated from the Premier League to the Championship, although I prefer rugby’
Worst Chat-Up Tactic – Eyal
Trying to persuade Megan they should be more ‘fun, playful, and silly’ only for Megan to tell him: ‘you’re not the most playful, silly, person no. Whereas I am playful – with people like Wes!’
Best Compliment – Samira
‘You are hot, hot, caliente!’
Worst Compliment – Kendall
‘Adam’s eyes are like mucky pond water colour’
Worst Honest Observation And Hole Digging – Wes
Wes said the fault he hated most in his partner was ‘ignorance or arrogance.’
Laura demanded to know: ‘when have I been arrogant?’ prompting Wes to correct her matter-of-factly: ‘not arrogant – ignorant.’
‘I can’t believe you said I was ignorant in front of the whole group !’ Laura blazed later.
‘I didn’t say you were!’ insisted Wes, still digging a hole for himself. ‘I said you’ve been ignorant.’
Least Promising Re-Coupling (male) – Alex
‘So I get to spend the night with a hot blonde !’
Ellie: ‘And I’ve survived my first re-coupling !’
Least Promising Re-Coupling (female) – Zara
‘Adam has had 200 sexual partners !?! How would you fit 200 in? He’s 22!’
Biggest Mystery (male) – Paul
How was he cast to kiss Britney Spears in that video when he had all the charisma of a Thunderbird puppet?
Biggest Mystery (female) – Laura
How did she and Paul finish second in the final – above Josh and Kaz?
Best Romantic Revelation: Jack ‘I’m in love with Dani Dyer!’
Most Shameful Smirk (male) – Adam
His way of responding/not responding to Rosie skewering his character as she dumped him (leaving him free to move on to Zara)
Most Shameful Smirk (female) – Megan
Her response to Laura calling her a ‘slag’ after a blazing row with Wes (over Megan)
Worst Conversational Tick – Wes & Josh
‘Did I want this to happen? No. Could I be happier? Yes’
Best Putdown (male) – Jack
‘What time’s your flight?’ when Dani said she was leaving in the morning
Best Putdown (female) – Alexandra
For telling Alex: ‘You’ve wasted my time and wasted your time. Shame on you !’
Most Desperate Bid For Publicity – Rosie & Megan
For their semi-naked photo session
Smartest Islander – Wes
Actually has a proper/impressive job (a ‘nuclear systems design engineer’). Or did have before Love Island…
Worst Conversational Tick: Wes (pictured) & Josh ‘Did I want this to happen? No. Could I be happier? Yes’
Dumbest Islander (female) – Hayley
For asking ‘what’s an earlobe?’, ‘what does ‘superficial’ mean?’, and thinking Brexit meant ‘no more trees’, ‘no more cheese’ and ‘holidays’
Dumbest Islander (male) – Adam
Admitting to Zara (a government advisor): ‘I’m a Personal Trainer. And you’ve got a job I’m pretending to understand’
Dumbest Doctor/Air Hostess – Alex & Laura
For thinking Vienna is in Italy
Most Fascinating Fact – Jack
‘A polar bear’s fur is see-through not white’
Most Uncool Fashion Faux Pas – Eyal
The Ken Barlow jumper-over-the-shoulders look
Most Finished Street Slang – ‘Sick’
Dr. Alex may not euthanise ‘humans’, as Ellie suggested. But he had really killed this term for teenagers permanently.
Dumbest Islander (female): Hayley For asking ‘what’s an earlobe?’, ‘what does ‘superficial’ mean?’, and thinking Brexit meant ‘no more trees’, ‘no more cheese’ and ‘holidays’