Doesn’t it seem like years and years since Amber Heard filed for divorce from Johnny Depp, citing Johnny’s alleged violent tendencies as the reason she couldn’t stay married to him?


It hasn’t been years, of course — it’s just been about seven months — but the messiness really drags things out, doesn’t it?


In late May of last year, just a few days after Johnny’s mother passed away, Amber left him.


At the time, it was a little confusing, because who would be so low to file for divorce during a time that’s so heartbreaking anyway?


But then, just a few days after she filed, Amber went back to court to request a restraining order against Johnny because, according to her testimony, he’d been physically abusive.


The next couple of months were particularly nasty, with photos and text message exchanges and videos leaked to support Amber’s claims, and with almost no one believing them.


Apparently it was very hard for people to believe that Johnny Depp, very famous actor and attractive human being, was capable of such violence.


In August, they finally settled things: Amber withdrew her request for a permanent restraining order as well as the domestic violence charges, and Johnny agreed to pay her $7 million.


So it was all over then, right? No more drama, no more legal issues, everything was good.


… Not so fast, y’all!


The drama continued for a good while longer: reports began surfacing that the divorce left Amber so broke that she was homeless, and though Amber said she was donating her entire settlement to charity, when Johnny donated the money directly, things got ugly.


And, as it turns out, the divorce wasn’t even finalized. During all this time, Johnny and Amber remained legally married.


But, as of last night, that changed, And today, those two finally woke up single for the first time in years.


However, things weren’t quite that simple. They never are with these two.


Amber wanted to delay the finalization so that her legal team could take a deposition from Johnny, but the judge said no, hush, this is over.


Johnny wanted Amber to pay $100,000 for dragging things out, but the judge said no, hush, this is over.


And finally, Amber asked that Johnny be forced to pay her legal fees, but — you guessed it — the judge said no, hush, this is over.


Both of them had to pay for their own legal fees.


To celebrate the finalization of the divorce, they also went ahead and officially divided up their assets yesterday.


Amber got the dogs, Pistol and Boo, a horse named Arrow, and two cars, a classic Mustang and a new Range Rover.


Johnny got to keep all the real estate, and there were also 42 more vehicles between them, so he got to keep all those, too.


So far, he’s paid $200,000 of the $7 million settlement. He’s been ordered to pay Amber another million in the next few days and another in February.


He’ll give her one more million dollar batch in May, then 1.5 million in August, before finishing things up big with a 2.3 million dollar payment next February.


Johnny’s lawyer released a statement on his behalf, saying that “We are all pleased to put this unpleasant chapter in Mr. Depp and his family’s lives behind them.”


“Having his request for entry of dissolution judgment granted today made it a particularly lucky Friday the 13th.”


And Amber’s lawyer got extra dramatic, stating “It’s a great day. All Amber wanted was a divorce and now she has it. In the words of Gerald Ford, ‘Our long national nightmare is over.'”


We’re not sure if that quote really fits the situation, but congrats to both Amber and Johnny on finally closing this ugly, ugly chapter.

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