We’re going to Jersey Shore, bitch!
Just kidding, we’re not — except we kind of are, because the legendary cast of Jersey Shore is returning back to where all that magic happened, and we get to see it right on our television screens.
Or, OK, they’re not exactly going back to where all the magic happened.
Instead of returning to the house that was actually on the Jersey shore, they’ll be in Miami again.
But still, in a way, we might as well be right there with all of our favorite guidos and guidettes, acting like the hottest messes that ever walked the boardwalk.
And how beautiful is that?
Back in November, we first learned that MTV was bringing back one of the greatest reality shows of all time, and ever since then, we’ve been anxiously awaiting its return.
Thanks to this new teaser, which finally reveals the premiere date, we now know we don’t have to wait too much longer!
Check out the preview, then we’ll talk:
OK, so April 5th — mark your calendars, and be sure to get your GTL in beforehand, because you aren’t going to want to miss this.
Just in that quick little video, we see Snooki going to town on a pickle — just like old times! — and Pauly D and Vinny rekindling their epic bromance.
Next, there’s Snooki humping JWoww, then Ronnie sitting on Vinny’s lap, looking absolutely trashed.
Finally we see a shot of the whole gang together before the teaser cuts to a shot of Deena and Snooki standing on the water, where Deena shouts to all who can hear her, “We’re your new neighb
Can you imagine?
Next is a teaser with a little more meat to it — and oh, what exciting meat it is:
That’s right! Angelina Pivarnick, AKA the Staten Island Dump, is back!
She knocks on the door and waits patiently until The Situation answers it, then greets him not with a hug or even a handshake, but with “You think I’m a dirty little hamster?!”
“Oh sh-t …” The Situation says, and it really does look like he had no idea she was going to be there at all.
He even asks her “Who sent you?”
She seems friendly enough, at least in this short little clip.
And it’s worth noting that she actually has suitcases this time around instead of trash bags.
But we can’t imagine that a house with Angelina in it will stay drama-free for long.
Since today is obviously a very blessed day, we have one more precious sneak peek to enjoy:
Remember Ron Ron Juice?!
Of course you do — how could you possibly forget?
But just in case you did, Ron Ron Juice is a special little drink invented by Ronnie, and as he explains it, it’s “the sh-t that gets the night going.”
“Whenever that sh-t comes out, it’s always a filthy night.”
Basically he just cuts up some watermelon slices and some cherries and then throws that stuff in a blender with cranberry juice, vodka, and ice.
Pauly D calls it “the root of all evil,” but honestly it does sound pretty delicious.
While the guys are sipping on their juice, The Situation takes a moment to explain some of his life philosophies.
“I wait till the last minute to shave,” he explains, “I wait till the last minute to put the shirt on, ’cause then you feel fresh. These are rules to live by.”
“Shave last minute, haircut the day of, maybe the tanning and the gym. You gotta do the guido handbook.”
If you’ve ever watched a single episode of Jersey Shore then you know all this, but still, it’s comforting to hear all this laid out fresh, isn’t it?
Just a little over seven weeks until the season premiere!