Becca Kufrin and Garrett Yrigoyen swear their love is real.
They promise they will buck the tradition.
The reality stars, engaged after season finale of The Bachelorette, vow to one day exchange vows, saying on record that they truly will get married at some point down the line.
But we hope they’ll forgive us for having a few doubts.
It’s just that… no couples ever get married after meeting on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. Almost no couples, that is.
Once the cameras stop rolling on these twosomes, and their dates start centering more around the local movie theater than some ABC-sponsored trip to a tropical island, reality usually sets in.
And the engagement gets called off.
Will Becca and Garrett be different? Will they make it down the aisle? Below, our staff weighs in on the weightiest of questions.
HELL NO by Tyler Johnson
Any time there’s a question of whether or not a Bachelor or Bachelorette couple will actually get and stay married, the smart money is on “hell no.”
The franchise has an almost-unbelievably horrendous track record when it comes to creating relationships that actually last longer than the petals on the final rose.
At this point, both series thrive on the viewers’ suspension of disbelief, sort of like when we pretend professional wrestling is real, or the winner of any TV singing competition actually has a shot in hell at becoming famous.
Anyway, the question of whether or not Becca Kufrin and Garrett Yrigoyen will ever get married deserves not an actual answer, but instead a blank stare of disbelief.
There’s a better chance of Donald Trump having a Mexican holiday named after him (La Fiesta de la Naranja Estupida?) than of these two ever saying “I do.
It’s day one of the world knowing that Becca and Garrett are engaged, and dude is already defending himself for being a bigoted goober on social media.
And his explanation for liking memes that mock transgender people and school shooting survivors is that he didn’t know how Instagram works.
So he’s both a douche and a dumbass. Double threat guy!
Becca has reluctantly defended Garrett’s actions, but her words had a slight “what did I get myself into?” tinge.
We think it’s safe to say this isn’t the most promising start.
So yeah, Becca and Garrett might be the perfect name for a boring couple that you meet at a barbecue and then immediately forget, but this relationship won’t last until the 2019 grilling season.
GOD NO by Simon Delott
Seeing Becca make such a colossally terrible romantic decision really made me wonder if she and Arie were perfect for each other, after all.
Because Becca and Garrett sure as hell are not.
The strongest force pushing Becca towards sticking with Garrett long enough to walk down the aisle together is probably just … shame.
She would feel ashamed if she dumped her fiance after she was so famously and brutally dumped by Arie.
She went into this role as the leading lady determined to make the right choice the first time and to not turn herself into one of the franchise’s greatest villains.
Backing out before the wedding would mean giving up, and maybe she’s not willing to do that.
Because she and Garrett hadn’t already split before the finale aired, maybe she’s stubborn enough to make it to the altar.
On the other hand, despite having chosen Garrett, Becca isn’t stupid.
Even if she didn’t know that his social media history shows him to be a huge bigot, the Bachelor Nation has been roasting Garrett for the way that he talks about her with “kindergarten language.”
And then there’s his previous marriage, which was to a woman who looks eerily like Becca and also only lasted for two months.
Maybe Becca’s a sucker for a dorky smile or maybe their pheromones really click, but whatever it is about Garrett that wormed its way into Becca’s heart, it cannot be enough.
They are simply not compatible.
Becca has to wake up one day and realize that it’s not worth ruining her life just to prove to Arie that she can stick with her choice.
LOL NO by Hilton Hater
My answer is summed up in the two-word introduction above, alongside my pen name.
I’d write more on the topic, but I am currently laughing out loud at the prospect of Becca and Garrett getting married.
Those who don’t learn from history are destined to repeat it… and Becca is therefore destined to repeat hers.
Or at least the mistakes all of other franchise leads who believed you could fall in true love with cameramen standing six feet away at all times.
This ceremony is not going to happen.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? by Free Britney
Reason number one of several hundred that it’s hard to envision Becca Kufrin walking down the aisle with Garrett Yrigoyen?
The picture above. That’s Garrett’s ex-wife Kayla, who’s basically a Becca doppelganger, when she married him years ago.
Think he’s hung up on her at all? Maybe?
All kidding aside, Bachelor franchise couples face steep odds (and the real world) even under the best of circumstances.
These are not that.
Garrett carries himself like Mr. All-American Wonderful on TV and says the right thing in pretty much every situation. It’s uncanny.
That’s likely because it’s fake.
Yrigoyen comes across as a terrific salesman, a guy who knows what to say and when to say it to please his audience.
In this case, it was Becca. But his Instagram activity reveals someone who at least “Likes” things TV Garrett would abhor.
Also, Blake Horstmann was simply a better choice. If Becca didn’t realize that while watching this season, then she’s blind.
YOUR TURN: Vote below!